This interview with Amber Lucas served as the basis for this as-told-to article. It has been condensed and cleaned up for length.
The past year was largely devoted to reviewing my life.
The most crucial adjustment I needed to make was in the kind of men I dated. Most of them were financially reckless and emotionally immature.
I would assist them. One man couldn’t pay his rent and needed money. He would spend his entire paycheck on marijuana, so he couldn’t afford it.
Another man spent three weeks leaving his old, rusted car at my house. He was unable to pay for the upkeep. It was oil-leaking. He had it hauled using my AAA insurance.
I desired to meet superior men. My desire to date more stable guys was sparked by those encounters. I wanted to meet a man who had his life under control, was mature, could hold an engaging discussion, and approached relationships with generosity. My goal was to “date up.”
I learned about the dating service Seeking through a friend. It focuses on bringing together “beautiful” and “successful” individuals. As of August 2021, I joined.
There are many membership tiers. The top tier has a monthly fee of $275. When a person joins at the highest level, they are able to display their salary, net worth, and lifestyle budget.
I was looking for males that like traveling and discovering new things. I’m setting up my own business right now. I also believed that it would be advantageous to be among people who were skilled at negotiating and achieving goals. They might give me advice or serve as a mentor, I hoped.
I spent three months residing in Paris. Usually while he was traveling for work in Europe, he came to visit. We would travel to areas like the Loire Valley’s vineyards.
The holiday season and the new year were lovely. In Bordeaux, we stayed at a chateau with a private chef and masseuse. Aside from that, we had the entire space to ourselves. At midnight, we engaged in some hide-and-seek.
He brought me to London, where he purchased me my very first Chanel purse. It was close to $11,000. Is our relationship at a stage where I can purchase you a bag? he inquired. He advised me to take my time in making the best decision. Although I was tempted, I chose Chanel instead of Christian Dior. I believed, “I’m so happy we’re dating. How many men would simply walk off and purchase any bag without giving it any thought?”
Due to the demands of our work, we split apart. We had several excellent business conversations. He advised me and improved my company plan.
We encountered a fork in the road in April. We split up. “Right person, wrong time” applied. There was a lot going on at work. We departed amicably.
I dated a few more men I met on Seeking. They were perceptive and fascinating. However, I made a connection with a man who was also from the Bay Area. In his mid-fifties, he was.